I’m here whenever you need me

How did the world get to where it is now, how did we let so much negativity eat our thoughts and the encouraged us to build a much darker future?

I’m the type of person that will talk and laugh with anyone. Sometimes though, I like to just watch, and just listen to what is going on in my surroundings.  I find it hard sometimes to digest the things that I see and the things that I hear. I find myself wondering how can I fix this. But I can’t. Not one person can fix what the world has become, only as a joint effort can we allow the world to move forward into a better more positive place.

When did it become okay to call us out for our differences? When did it become okay for us to pull someone else down to make yourself seem better? The answer is this isn’t okay, now, then, or ever.

We all need to stop punishing ourselves and others for being different, instead we should be celebrating those differences. Were all born to be the individual, we each own a set of fingerprints like no other. The person that someone is, it runs more than just skin deep. It’s about the person as a whole.

It’s okay to have bad days, it’s okay to have good days. No one is perfect. You’re life is about making mistakes to learn from them in the future. Don’t expect your life to be a straight path. Sometimes you will have to side step obstacles that come along the way, some times you will have to take a couple of steps back.

I’m just one person trying to make a difference, one person who is sick of feeling like I’m not good enough. Treat others how you expect to be treated.

Remember that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to need help. I for one will hold my hand up and say I’m here and I will listen to anyone that needs me too.

Love as always;

Donna Marie Howard

 

lift them up, don’t knock them down

I always thought of myself to be a strong-minded person. I’m the type of person that “feels” other people’s feelings. I always believed that everyone was like this, but they’re not. I seem to always get a grasp of how someone is emotionally feeling, and I try to build that broken bridge. I have always been the person to fix the problems for everyone else, but then when I needed them, no one was there to do that for me. I was too busy pushing the person in front of me, I didn’t realise that I was leaving myself behind.

When I was in school I was never popular- not even in the slightest. But I knew who I was and that was me- I was the girl who liked to challenge herself- who liked to read Buffy scripts in the corridors in a very bad American accent. I had the world at my feet and I wanted to grab it, if only I knew how. I had a great group of friends around me, I have a lot of fun memories from around that time- but we all grew up, we all went our separate ways. Then mostly there was just me, and there was just her.

By her I mean my best friend. No matter what she stuck by me. She was around for the highs and she was around for the oh so many lows and never seemed to judge. We went months without talking, when we did talk again it just started from where we left off. Then became the days where we would send each other ridiculous amounts of voice notes every day, just to say the same old silly things, help each other smile, help each other get through it. You see, like me, she too puts other people first. She too forgets to tell herself how amazing and empowering she is, that’s why I try my hardest to remind her.

I have gone through a lot of dark times, but she has always been there to guide me through it and spur me on, helping me to realise that the dark times weren’t so dark after all. I had and still have my very own beautiful cheerleader!

We all need that someone. We all need to be that someone. Let’s not focus on pushing people down, instead let’s help lift people up. Life is tough, but also remarkable. Share your experiences with others,  help them learn from past mistakes.

Remember we don’t need to sugar coat ourselves, no one is perfect, but that’s okay. It’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to be different. Embrace yourself, know your own self-worth. Most important thing to remember is too smile!…. Honestly no one truly has there shit figured out.

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Thank you Chadelle!
Love as Always;

Donna Marie Howard

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Wrapped in Cotton Wool

Good Evening,

I often read and watch the news. I listen to the stories about terrorism, murder, and other types of violence and it leaves me terrified. Don’t get me wrong it does scare me for my own benefit but the thing that terrifies me the most is if something were to happen to my children. This would be my worst nightmare. I find myself wrapping the children in cotton wool just to keep them safe. What kind of life is this though?

When were out I like to keep my children close in fear that something might happen to them. It’s not just about crossing the road, watching them near glass products. It’s about them going missing, or worse being kidnapped.

I have tried to make a game out of stranger danger with Tyler. Even though the topic isn’t funny what’s so ever. Tyler has only just turned 5, and I needed to ensure that he understood what I was telling him. I needed to imprint the facts into his brain. We played this game a few times and at first, he didn’t quite understand what I was trying to teach him, but now he does. He knows exactly what to do if he ever found himself in a situation where he felt threatened by a stranger.

Am I as a parent taking this a step too far? Some people might think this is the case. I just know that it seems like the world is getting a darker place to live and I would rather lead him through the darkness, than allow it to swallow him whole.

Maybe sometimes I am a little too safe with my children. I need to stop worrying so much and allow them to make some small mistakes. Allow them to do things where they might hurt themselves. Let them learn that they’re not invincible and they might get hurt. By ‘small mistakes’ I mean things like, throwing themselves upside down on the swing in the park, and Leap frogging over metal posts.

I fully hope in my heart that we can turn this world around. I believe if we all work together, we can make a difference. But for now, whilst that is in the process, just remember that there is bad stuff out there and we must educate our kids. Let’s make this world the best place to be, the best place to live in. Let’s do this for us, let’s do this for them, our Future.

 

Love as always;

Donna Marie Howard

 

Sticks and Stones

Good afternoon,

 

I’m sure you have all heard of the phrase ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’ this use to be a playground saying when I was little. How incorrect is this though? I know it has a deeper meaning behind it, but the idea of the phrase itself is absolute rubbish.

The world is full of bad stuff, bad people with lots of negativity. On the other hand, the world is also full of good stuff, good people with lots of positivity. So why it is then that our focus is always shifted to the negativity? Why do we always place our focus on this? All it does is cast shade on the positive.

It makes me happy when someone says something nice to me, but I do struggle to take compliments. I always feel awkward when I’m given one. I over think it, my brain starts thinking how do I act, what do I say as a reply? Most of the time I will just make it into a negative compliment. Someone tells me that they like my hair and I reply with ‘oh my roots are terrible aren’t they and I really need a haircut, I have so many split ends’. Instead I just need to learn to say thank you. That is all that’s needed. That positive compliment can easily be erased though, no matter how happy it made you. Just by someone making a horrible, nasty, and negative comment.

I have often struggled and held on to the negativity. I like to think that since having my children I am a much stronger person than I use to be, as I must be for them. But in the past, I have allowed the comments to overcome my thoughts and that has made me feel so sad. I believed that it must be true just because someone has said it. That comment and that thought sticks, and that is a lot harder to erase.

So why are these comments made? Why do other people feel the need to cast their opinions on us? I believe it’s down to jealously and their own insecurities. Every person in the world is different. We’re not all built the same on purpose. We all have our own identities, and insecurities but we all sparkle in different ways. We’re not about one single thing. We’re about the entire package. So, start looking a little deeper, unravel the negative comments and love each other for who we are.

Next time you’re on social media, or out on the streets just give someone a compliment. If we focus on spreading the love instead of casting the darkness around then maybe the hate in the world won’t seem so big.

 

Love as always,

 

Donna Marie Howard

Facebook Blues

Evening,

Do you ever find yourself getting the Facebook blues? Where you scroll and scroll reading everyone’s posts and looking through their pictures and the result is that you feel quite down. Looking at other mum’s posts about their children, how partners have treated their other halve, people going on holiday, or just nights out. You get the ‘my life isn’t like that’ feeling. After you have spent time on Facebook a sort of emptiness hits you, like you must be clearly missing something or doing something wrong, and then jealously kicks in.

Have you ever really sat there and thought properly about Facebook? Have you really delved into what it is that we’re all looking at, what we’re seeing and reading?

We’re all seeing what the person in question would like us to see. We’re seeing their best bits. We’re mostly seeing the positive side to everyone’s story. What they deem acceptable to show to the Facebook audience.

There isn’t anything wrong with doing this, not at all. I know that I’m guilty of doing this. I like to show when I’ve been somewhere nice, or when something good has happened to me. I never show the parts where I’m stressed out so much from repeating myself over and over to the kids, asking them to pick their toys up or just stay sat at the table whilst they eat their tea. Me personally I think this is because I feel that I will be judged, that it’s not social acceptable to admit that as a mother of three I sometimes feel so stressed out that I need to cry a little. Well guess what? That’s exactly what I do. I don’t really receive ‘me’ time, hey I barely receive ‘toilet’ time to myself without the door opening and a crowd forming. But this is part of my package now. I accept this.

I miss the days of the disposable cameras. You would just take a picture and until it was developed you didn’t know what it would look like. Even when you did get the pictures back, you couldn’t change them. Now a day most people have the luxury of owning their own mobile smart phone, which comes with a very handy camera. The pictures taken on these can be seen and deleted and took again if they’re not seen good enough. We keep going until we believe that we have taken the right picture that is acceptable to show to Facebook. Even still in some cases parts of the picture will be cropped down so we can hide the parts of the picture we dislike.

These are my examples of what I put on Facebook recently. My weight loss picture I took my hair down and shook it a bit to try and make myself look a bit better. Even still I didn’t deem the picture taken to be any good until the thirteenth picture that I took.
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The next picture is currently my profile picture. I searched the house to find a room that had good enough lighting. I took twenty-three pictures until I decided that the picture was good enough.
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I think we should all appreciate what we’re shown on Facebook. No judging, no jealously. Everyone has their bad days, everyone has their good days. We don’t know the full story. That holiday that we keep seeing pictures of, probably took a long time to pay for. That night out that looks amazing, might be the only night out that person has had in months. That mother that appears to have her shit together, probably dealt with a numerous number of tantrums that day.

We all have a story to tell, no story is perfect. Everyone has imperfections. We all work with what we’re dealt with. We’re all strong and each person in life achieves different things, but no one is better than the other. Don’t let the Facebook blues cloud your judgement, lets listen to the story being told to us. Let’s support one another and be happy for each other’s achievements.

Love as always;

Donna Marie Howard

The ones who see your potential will stick by you

Good evening,

As a parent do you often find yourself extremely lonely when the kids are at school or when they’ve gone to bed? I do.  My whole life revolves around my family, my children. I live to make them smile. I’m the one to Pick them up when they’re feeling sad. But once it has gone 7:30pm I often feel extremely lonely that I don’t have ‘mum’ being shouted at me every other minute.

I live with my partner Phil, the children’s dad. But as we get older I have realised how different me and Phil are. We have a lot of similarities but we also have a lot of differences. His idea of a relaxing night involves a can of beer and a play station remote, whilst mine would involve just a simple snuggle on the couch watching T.V. He is my best friend but he is a terrible listener haha

When I became a mum, I hid myself away a lot of the time. I put ALOT of weight on and just didn’t feel like myself.  I felt like I lost my sparkle, I wasn’t where I thought I was going to be in life and I felt like I was going to disappoint people.

I used to have a huge group of friends when I was young and as we got older I found more and more people cut themselves from my life. I suppose it wasn’t all their fault I could have fought to save some relationships but I never did, I guess sometimes it’s just easier to play the blame game.  I did find that once I had Tyler me and Phil would still be invited out by friends, but money was an issue back then and most of the time we would have to decline. It then got to the point where they stop invited us as they just presumed it would always be a no. It did hurt that they obviously saw a problem and just decided to ignore us instead of asking why? Sometimes I think people don’t want to ask to be hit with any drama. I guess everyone has it.

I now have a small circle of friends who I would considered my close best friends. Some I don’t see and it’s become more of a social media relationship but it’s still that connection. If one of us needs help then they will receive the support that is needed. That is true friendship.

When friends can see you at your lowest point and not judge you or decide that you’re not worth their time. When them friends can just listen. When they can support you, lift you up with words, and still surprise you. This is all you need. I would rather have the small handful of true friends I have now in my life, than a lot of fake friends who only want to know you when you seem to be doing well. These true friends are the friends I want my children to see me with. My children to talk to and love as much as I do.

So what I’m trying to say in a nut shell is let’s all try and believe in one another more. Let’s see each other’s potential and help them when its needed. Let’s pick them up and encourage them and tell them that they’re amazing and they can do it. Let’s all be worthy of being a true friend. Let’s make this world a better and more supportive place. Instead of watching, let’s take action! We’re moulding the next generation. Let’s make it a great place for them to grow up in.

Love as always;

Donna Marie Howard

 

Eeekkkk I’m really doing this

Hi,

I’m Donna, also known as the how does she do that super mum. I have finally decided to start a blog! I know to many of you this won’t seem like a big deal but to me this means so much. So I would like to thank everyone in advance for their support on my new journey.

So a little about me then aye…. Well my main go to answer is that I have 3 beautiful children who are my entire world, Tyler Sean (5), Brooke Summer(2), and Cole Carter(7 months). I have a partner called Phil who has been by my side for the last 8 years. I’m 27 years young and currently on maternity leave until the end of September 2017

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So why am I doing this? Why now? Well I don’t have an answer really to justify this but I feel that now it just feels right. Yes I am 27 and a mum of three but this doesn’t define me and to be honest I’m not quite sure who I really am. I know my likes and dislikes but I’ve never really understood myself all that well. I’m hoping that writing will help me to dig a little deeper and reveal some of these answers for me.

So these posts are going to be completely honest. Honest about everything, my children, myself as a mother, my relationship with my partner,  and my over all look on the world. I hope you will continue to support me on my journey…. it’s going to be fun.

Love as always,

Donna Marie Howard