As a parent do you often find yourself extremely lonely when the kids are at school or when they’ve gone to bed? I do. My whole life revolves around my family, my children. I live to make them smile. I’m the one to Pick them up when they’re feeling sad. But once it has gone 7:30pm I often feel extremely lonely that I don’t have ‘mum’ being shouted at me every other minute.
I live with my partner Phil, the children’s dad. But as we get older I have realised how different me and Phil are. We have a lot of similarities but we also have a lot of differences. His idea of a relaxing night involves a can of beer and a play station remote, whilst mine would involve just a simple snuggle on the couch watching T.V. He is my best friend but he is a terrible listener haha
When I became a mum, I hid myself away a lot of the time. I put ALOT of weight on and just didn’t feel like myself. I felt like I lost my sparkle, I wasn’t where I thought I was going to be in life and I felt like I was going to disappoint people.
I used to have a huge group of friends when I was young and as we got older I found more and more people cut themselves from my life. I suppose it wasn’t all their fault I could have fought to save some relationships but I never did, I guess sometimes it’s just easier to play the blame game. I did find that once I had Tyler me and Phil would still be invited out by friends, but money was an issue back then and most of the time we would have to decline. It then got to the point where they stop invited us as they just presumed it would always be a no. It did hurt that they obviously saw a problem and just decided to ignore us instead of asking why? Sometimes I think people don’t want to ask to be hit with any drama. I guess everyone has it.
I now have a small circle of friends who I would considered my close best friends. Some I don’t see and it’s become more of a social media relationship but it’s still that connection. If one of us needs help then they will receive the support that is needed. That is true friendship.
When friends can see you at your lowest point and not judge you or decide that you’re not worth their time. When them friends can just listen. When they can support you, lift you up with words, and still surprise you. This is all you need. I would rather have the small handful of true friends I have now in my life, than a lot of fake friends who only want to know you when you seem to be doing well. These true friends are the friends I want my children to see me with. My children to talk to and love as much as I do.
So what I’m trying to say in a nut shell is let’s all try and believe in one another more. Let’s see each other’s potential and help them when its needed. Let’s pick them up and encourage them and tell them that they’re amazing and they can do it. Let’s all be worthy of being a true friend. Let’s make this world a better and more supportive place. Instead of watching, let’s take action! We’re moulding the next generation. Let’s make it a great place for them to grow up in.
Love as always;
Donna Marie Howard